time.

i remember that time that mom and i came home from dinner. you were drunk. you tried to take apart the t.v. in your boxers. eventually ending up on bed naked. mom was so sick of dealing with you. she told you to get out of the house in the morning and check yourself into a clinic. i was hiding in my bathroom. you notice me. you tell her not to say that in front of me. like i was oblivious to the situation. 

i follow mom to the kitchen. i knew she was fed up with it all. just as much as me. more even. she was broken. i had never seen her so defeated. i wrapped by arms around her. she cried into my shoulder.   

i remember the time that you were about to get another back surgery. you were nervous about another operation. you spent the night at the bar. two men followed you home and placed you on our couch. i held your arm as you stumbled down the hall. knocking into the door frame. making your way to the bathroom where you threw up. 

i remember the time when you were trying to drink Gatorade with the cap still on. probably the funniest thing but pretty pathetic. 

i remember finding the photo of me at pre-school graduation. i was crying. you were kneeled down next to me. i could see in your face you were drunk. it was never hard to tell. 

i remember the time you screamed in my face. as you backed me into a corner. the time you stumbled through the house drunk. the time you made me listen to you go on and on with the same things that you repeat all the time. 

i remember crying to GOD for help. praying that you would stop. 

i remember...