am i defined by people?
i was at starbucks tonight. indulging on a coffee and pastry like a true italian that i wish i were. sitting in the bare room on the cozy chair i got to thinking. do i let people define who i am?
at first i thought. yeah man i think i totally do. i act differently around different people. i will say or not say certain things around different groups of people.
then on the other hand. i thought. there are so many times when i have no one. periods where i am wondering alone in this world. trying to get by. when i do not talk to a soul. who am i then? i am still me. am to my fullest potential? possible not. i am acting me though. there is no way i could not be.
i am more vulnerable when i am alone. i am consumed only with my thoughts. my feelings. i over analyze ever possible thing. i plan my future with every detail and get so bummed when things do not turned out as planned.
i am always setting expectations of plans. of people. i think that someone will think something regardless of proof. i plan things to go a certain way even thought i know how unrealistic it is.
i act as though i am so carefree. but really i stress myself out planning. scheduling. i wish i could free my mind. not think so much. not care so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment